Inside I am scared to death and feel completely helpless. I have my miracle baby girl and the thought of her having to have surgery at all, let alone at 4 months old terrifies me. However, the best thing I can do is to keep it together for her. To be strong for her. To be in the moment and enjoy our time together. The surgery is going to happen but it doesn't have to interfere with our time now.
She has no care in the world and no idea of what is to come and for that I am grateful. If this had to happen, I am so thankful it's when she is too young to remember it one day (I hope).
When she was first diagnosed with Craniosynostosis, I thought why my baby. I asked that once and never again. There really is no answer why and dwelling on it won't change it. I do know that if there has to be anything, I am grateful it is "just" this. Something that surgery can correct and I thank GOD we have a Pediatrician, Neurosurgeon and Craniofacial Surgeon that have expertise in the subject.
Once you've spent time in a Pediatric Neurosurgeon's waiting room or a Children's Hospital for that matter, you definitely realize your priorities and acknowledge your blessings if you hadn't already done so before.